Family Truths – Are they?

One of the chief things we do that dishonor God and those in the church and community is not doing the hard work of examen. 

 As you read the first paragraph you may have tried to change the “typo” examen to examine, and may not have picked up the not so subtle difference in the two thoughts conveyed in the different words.    

 Researchers tell us that 95% or more of the time – we clearly do not think before speaking (or acting), and when we do think, we do so typically based on what we feel or think at the moment. Much of what we feel or think depends on what we’ve been taught or caught along the way. 

 Alternatively, we can, in the remaining 3-5% of the time that we do take the time to think, look at things through the filter of our feelings or through examen; to weigh what we are considering against or in light of the Scriptures. Beyond most often reacting instead of thinking, we nearly always do so from our feelings and “training”, and fail to look at the assumptions and biases we have in light of God’s Word. The Scriptures were granted as Truth, not blind faith, for thousands of years, until our modern post-Christian era when “science” without Scriptures or God became the new rule. They were Truth because of the vast records that showed them to be proven truths.  

 We have all caught, been trained, educated, and socialized by our childhood, family, friends, teachers, dare I say it, media, and the aspects of American culture we live in, to see nearly everything and people in particular ways, and much of that does not stack well against God’s word.   

 Whether we were raised in a home where our values came from Buddhism, Christianity, Mormonism, Catholicism, Atheism, Agnosticism, etc., we for the most part accepted as real what our parents, classmates, teachers, clergy, the street, etc., taught us. And most of it without much thought.

 Socrates was noted for saying “The unexamined life is not worth living”, but I’d like to change it to “The life without examen is not worth living”. Examining things through our filters, we are sure to run off-course, unless we take the time for examen throughout our day. We will interpret what we read, what is said to us, by all that above input without looking at what and how God may view it. Yes, it takes hard work to view it with Him.

 We mostly live our lives without ever reflecting on the stories we’ve been told about any given topic and other people who are different from us in one way or another. Do you know that much of that may well be untruthful? Consequently, we perpetuate the myths and stereotypes subconsciously. Change and healing require us to develop a deep level of self-awareness. One component for that is to slow down so we can take stock of what it is that we have come to believe.

 As a personal example, many years ago we had hired a teen girl to clean our home, run errands, etc., and we thought of her and treated her as ‘family’. My mother came to visit one year and took me aside because this girl ate meals with us. “Servants never should be ‘permitted’ to be that familiar with you“, mom said. I had never given much actual consideration to why workers in my childhood home always eat alone, until mom’s comment. It started me on a journey to search for other Farr/Lula family ‘truths‘ that I’d been exposed to, and never chosen to evaluate with godly understanding. Growing up with an ethnic mother who had been raised understandably with some good and some decidedly unbiblical ideas that carefully divided spiritual life from real-life. I had managed somehow to have some healthy thinking but I’m pretty sure that many of those unchallenged family truths I ponder now have affected my view of other things and people yet today, and some of those that are false, I am not proud of. 

 The range of topics affected by such things is mind-boggling, from foods, cars, driving, athletics, people, work, down to the very items we use daily. We all may even choose what is acceptable in clothing, hair-styles, piercings, tattoos, on our caught values. While it could be good or less than good for example, we may trade cars (think Cell phones too) as our parents did. If you have not heard the story of the woman who after 3 generations asked why she needed to cut the end of the Sunday ham off before baking it, search Google or click here. In this case, it took three generations to reach the truth.

  We are bombarded by the media, magazines, internet blogs, and podcasts into every imaginable thread of thinking, and most of it is aimed with an attempt to sway our thinking, but seldom, if ever, are we offered the Scripture’s take on the presented view. Listening to what we hear and read will naturally fit or be rejected for a while into our preconceived way of thinking until we’ve heard their message long enough and loud enough to begin the process of modifying our views. That’s why most healthcare and Christian groups have been encouraging us to shut off the television, radio, and other sources of non-stop modern propaganda and fear-mongering especially since the pandemic got into higher gears. Politics too has raised its ugly head for a century or more and unfortunately you can’t easily find a source from the Left, Right, or even Christian media leaning that will actually point us to something productive and helpful. At present, two main topics in the “news” would be the pandemic and racial issues.

 Even that we call it “racism” is a biblical misnomer, for God created one race. Didn’t it start in Genesis 16 with Ishmael and Isaac? And was that racism, ethnicism, or just family jealousy?

 I don’t buy the “white privilege” nonsense I read about, because the Bible tells us that any human being belongs to the one-and-only ‘race’- the human race – no matter which ethnicity they claim. And we are all loved by the Trinitarian God and all of us are created in His image. Each of us has enough of our own faulty beliefs and focusing on just white Europeans is just plain nuts. Over the centuries, America has had issues and hurt nearly every different ethnic group and religion. The foolishness was humorously captured by the “Merry Minuet” 60 plus years ago by The Kingston Trio that intoned: 

“The whole world is festering with unhappy souls.

 The French hate the Germans, the Germans hate the Poles.

 Italians hate Yugoslavs, South Africans hate the Dutch.

 And I don’t like anybody very much!”

It’s not a United States of America view, it’s international and sadly most human, done without examen and those issues have caused many to be abused and killed. I feel fully blessed that when I meet someone that I no longer see, as I did in my childhood, an Italian, Pole, Englishman, Frenchman, German, African, Indian, etc., I see an American – unless they are a recent immigrant, and then hopefully they will become all American and do it without losing their native culture’s heritage unless they choose to.

 Self-awareness in light of God’s Word brings great light to our thinking in every area that makes reality step outside the camp of culture – just as God desires His children to live. 

 “For the bodies of those animals, whose blood is brought into the Holy of Holies by the high priest for sin, are burned outside the camp. Therefore Jesus also, so that He might sanctify the people through His own blood, suffered outside the gate. Therefore let us go forth to Him outside the camp, bearing His reproach.” Hebrews 13:11-13

 While it may involve many different types of things, our inherited, taught, trained views often are strictly about the differences we have with others. I had little exposure to darker-skinned people, people of other faiths like Jewish folk, day-laborers, or the super-rich as a child. For example, growing up in the mid-Atlantic states in the 1940s-50s there were no Mormons found on the streets near me, in my schools, or in my home. The views that I appropriated for many years were unchallenged by examen until I moved near Arizona’s Mormon community and discovered many Mormons with the Farr surname.

 I suspect that I’ve not even scratched beneath the surface of what I believe to be true to check it for accuracy with God’s word and character.

 That challenge is there for me – and for you perhaps – as we hear “Cancel Culture”, Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, Woke, Critical Race, Revisionist History, etc. weighing them against what we have in our heart and mind to what God has revealed in the old and new Testament – particularly what was taught by Jesus.

 There may be some elements of these that are well-founded – care for those that are under-served, or oppressed, but none offer any solutions, just scorn for those who “have”, and none offer the love that Jesus taught or the redemption found in Him alone. It is Christ alone that brings hope to their broken worldview.

 Two thousand years ago He changed the world, and Satan has moved fiercely to undo it all, and the culture of the 21st century too often reflects his success. Let’s not give him a hand with his destruction, instead become strong, vocal leaders of Truth, Love, and Kindness to all.