Relationship boxes

January 2014 Marriage Fitness Center monthly letter

Each year around the world people take stock of their lives and propose resolutions, some of which are discarded even before the month ends.   Many are regarding things like exercise and diet, and I know that for me they ha

ve often been a struggle.  Each year we say – “This year will be different”, and at the beginning of a new year we have to try again.

The Marriage Box I found on FaceBook started me thinking, that while those diet and exercise goals are worthy, the most important issue God has given mankind is “Relationships”.   Ours with Him, and with our spouse are primary.  All other relationships pale by comparison, even our relationship with children, other family, friends and community.

Given that truth, it seems to me that starting with God and spouse, may ultimately be the way to sustainable goals in other areas of our lives as well.

The box concept reminds me that my relationship to God is similar to the Marriage Box. When I accepted Christ into my life and decided to become a follower of Jesus, my relationship “box” with God was empty, and only by getting to know Him more and more would my relationship “box” fill.  He fills it, not me, and He gives me the desire to glean from the Scriptures, Prayer, and Experience (fellowship with others) what He reveals.   Only as I open myself to the kernel of desire He’s given me, does God develop our character from those three, and our behavior changes.

As we begin to mature in our relationship with Christ, we are also more able to pour into our marriage relationship the increasing habits of giving, serving, humor, and praise.   The powerful GYM (Growing Your Marriage) Studies we’ve assembled provide tools, but what they teach becomes sustainable primarily as our relationship with Christ grows.

I’d like to challenge myself and you to ask God to increase our desire to deepen our relationship with Him this year and develop greater godliness, helping us to live more out of Romans 10:12, “giving preference to one another in honor” than we do today.

Mary Jane and I are looking forward to our yearly planning time this month, and we’ll use among other things a list of 10 Questions from Tom Elliff, and the Fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22 and ask each other how we see each fruit in our behavior toward one another and others.    Hearing from the heart of our spouse about our attitudes and conduct is a powerful way for God to speak His Truth into our lives.   (Ask me for a copy)

Your Marriage Fitness Center ministry has many ideas like these (some posted weekly on our FaceBook page, and a full array of tools to help your relationships grow deeper.   From an individualized relationship inventory (Marriage Proactive), regularly scheduled short term GYM Studies, ongoing small groups, and pastoral shepherding, to Marriage 911 for couples in distress, we are here to serve you.

I hope you have a fruitful and blessed year and are challenged to make your life more vulnerable to God’s leading in every area of your life and to your spouse’s influence in becoming the godly man and woman He planned for you since creation.

Taking Verses Giving

Now that we’re awake, read along while I ponder in print, the topics of taking and giving. First, I encourage you to listen to this radio interview of a welfare recipient from a Texas radio program. http://safeshare.tv/w/csrqsTAmSx

This should be a wake up call about the sick attitude that is growing rampantly in America today.

Listening to it, my conclusion is that it is the Lucys of America who will keep tearing our country apart until those like Obama turn this country into a welfare nation which will cripple and destroy our future. In my opinion we must get the wise but nonvoting majority of American citizens to vote restoration before it is too late. That window of opportunity is all too short.

I counter “Lucy’s” take on life with thoughts from Dr. David Stoop on giving.

He said that in an experiment using a brain MRI, the researchers asked participants whether or not they wanted to donate to a worthy charity. They also had the option of keeping the money for themselves. Researchers learned the brain “lit up” in those making the decision to donate to a worthy organization – meaning more blood flow to the same part of the brain that is involved in response to a good meal or sex.

Bottom line, something happens in our brain that rewards us with good feelings, especially when our giving runs counter to our own selfish interests. Those who give as unto God reap heavenly and bodily rewards, whether it be to charitable organizations, world hunger, or rendering unto Caesar what is due (taxes). Where giving is good and honor’s our Creator – taking (when clearly not out of need as in Lucy’s case) is not.