Investor’s Strategy for ’09 and Beyond

Consider for a moment that a wise investor strategy can pay great dividends throughout your life, totally independent of where the stock market or home values are.

Recently I met with a man in his 40’s who told me how he worked hard all day, putting in long hours and energy, and came home tired, just wanting to relax before the next day.  I asked him how much energy he had left for his wife and family, and his response was – not much.  He went on to share how he thought they should understand that times are tough, and that holding onto a job in a downsizing economy left him exhausted.

The Bible gives us pretty clear understanding in Matthew 22:37 that God desires us to place Him as our highest priority, giving honor to Him with our heart, soul and mind.  Next in His priority for our lives is “our neighbor”; our wives/husbands certainly qualify as our closest neighbor.   Throughout the Scriptures we are exhorted to be good husbands and wives – so giving our best to the job, and leaving little for them seems to be reflect an upside down priority.

God challenges us all to be investors in personal holiness and our marriage. Understand that God is not encouraging us to give poorly in our work – He calls us to excellence in all things.  If we save some of our prime energy for our spouse, we may grow in godliness, and that honors Him, and is good for all.  In these tough economic times, it’s far to easy to put our focus on things that, while urgent, are askew of God’s design for our lives.
How can you be an investor in your marriage?

• First, invest quality time in your walk with Christ.   Sunday worship, small group studies and accountability to a same gender mentor/friend, prayer, reading God’s word are all important to our personal growth.
• Second, plug into one of the many classes/seminars available in your town or online that are designed to help marriage deal with the common concerns all of us face – topics like communication, conflict resolution, expectations, listening, etc.
• Third, hold hands and pray together. One study shows that divorce only occurs in only 1 of 1153 marriages that do this – pretty strong indication that prayer together is part of God’s plan for our lives.
  
• Fourth, have regular date nights with your spouse, and weekly marriage staff meetings, both of which create opportunities for deeper relationship with them.
• Fifth, read a book together like the one featured below.
• Sixth, find a ministry where you can serve together.   In your church is great, but Christ followers need to be involved in community as well.
• Seventh – mentor a newly married couple – they face trials greater than we can imagine, and need godly models before them.
  

As said in this column before, our goal is to reduce the divorce rate, but equally important to raise the quality of marriages, such that we become powerful advocates for the things God began in Genesis with Adam and Eve. We hope you will join us as Marriage Investors in your community.

Since we’ve already suggested reading a book to each other – we’ve got one this month that is light reading, yet insightful – able to stir great conversations on your date nights.

Men Are Like Waffles – Women Are Like Spaghetti, by Bill and Pam Farrell, (alas not known kin to this editorialist).

One of our pastors told me this week that this book opened their eyes to their differences after being married for many years, and that he recommends it often.

Consider that men think and act by moving from box to box – the contents of one box not tainting any other.  We enter a box, size up the situation and act.   Our delightful brides of any length of time mix it up so well, that every noodle of information is touching and connected to every other noodle on the plate.

This alone can drive us both nuts.   So Bill and Pam Farrel help us break down things like communication, couple closeness, conflict resolution, nourishing each other’s dreams and sizzling sex.   Their humorous, warm readable approach is a perfect book to read to one another.  You will find this Marriage Investor idea fun in uniting your differences. –Don Farr is a certified Life Coach in Paradise Valley [dfarr@ncs-az.net].